Have you ever felt like you are always trying to please others at the expense of your own life?
Well, I can relate.
I grew up in a well-educated family with high expectations. Not only did we need to have high grades but we also needed to be on top of our class. They were very supportive and they tried to do everything they possibly could to make sure I didn’t turn out stupid or on the wrong side of the track.
To my parents relief, I wasn’t a High School dropout. I graduated from college early. I took a year off to work and then moved to California for graduate school. I was working full time and going to school full time. It was hard but I had everything mapped out for my life. I was determined to accomplish everything on my list of goals. I was moving along even though I was getting a bit tired and running low on energy.
Then everything crashed and burned after a trip home to visit my family.
During that visit I decided to break up with my boyfriend and he was so upset that he lied to my family, telling them that I was dating the head of a gang who was a drug dealer. Even now, I can’t believe my family listened to him. My family was so terrified with that idea that they insisted I not go back to California because they didn’t want me to be among those kind of people and maybe even get killed. They tried to lock me up in their house to keep me safe.
That was crazy! I tried to assure them that there was nothing to worry about, and eventually convinced them to let me go back to California. But once I got there I wasn’t the same confident person. I had escaped from my family and their expectations, but now I was becoming depressed. There was a small entertainment room in my apartment during grad school that was decorated in all blue. It was the perfect room at this stage in my life because I was feeling bluer than blue. I began to spend a lot of time just sitting in that blue room. I stopped eating and isolated myself from the world because I couldn’t get out of bed. I called in sick to work and stopped going to school for days at a time.
I didn’t talk to anyone. I didn’t even call my family. I was hurt and confused and had hit rock bottom, but I found the strength to reach out to an old friend. He recommended an inspirational book for me to read. It helped me a little but wasn’t enough.
I had always been certain that I had a purpose in life but now I had lost sight of it. I decided to try to find it again. I mustered every ounce of strength that I had, picked myself up and started going back to class.
The class was group therapy…a required class in the graduate school program
In this class we did a lot of processing. It was during this class that I realized all this time that I had been trying to live up to my family’s expectations. At that moment I knew I had to let go of their expectations, do things for myself and live my life for me. The veil was lifted and the clarity was there. I knew exactly why I wanted to finish my doctorate degree. It was no longer because of the title that I’ll hold. That challenging period of my life had shown me that I had lived far too long trying to please others and live up to their expectations. I realized that this was MY life and that it had meaning. I had recovered not only my purpose but had also rediscovered my soul.
Now, my mission is to help others do the same. Your life has meaning, deep worth and a very special purpose. My passion and expertise is in helping you claim the life you desire!